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A Letter to my Angsty Teenage Self

Dear Apoorvaa,

Hello! Allow me to introduce myself. I'm YOU, from the future! I go by Apps now. Pretty cool right? At the time of me writing this letter, I'm 22 years old. I'm assuming you must currently be right in the smack dab of teenagehood, around 15-ish?

So, let's see the things I have to update you on. You're a student in the US now, your dream country. Can you guess where? No, not in New York. Nope, not LA. Not Chicago either, but you're getting warmer, it's definitely in the midwest! I'm studying at Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska! I can imagine you wrinkle your nose in distaste, probably when you think of Nebraska, you think of cornfields and yup that's probably it. But don't judge a book by its cover. When I think of Omaha, I think of warm friendly people, a place where I got to be my own person, and a city where I came to form some of the best memories of my life.

Right now, I know life kind of sucks. Being a teenager is annoying. But if it helps, your twenties are a lot better. Things don't seem so grim and dark anymore. Although, the year 2020 os a different story. I don't want to ruin the suspense but let's just say the sanitizer you always keep in your handbag is definitely going to come in handy. And you know how you love staying at home and avoiding people as an edgy teenager? Well even as a social twenty two year old, you'll have no choice but to stay at home. You'll see why. The good news is you get to spend three months social distancing in a farmhouse with your best friends, drinking a lot of wine and taking long walks amidst the scenic countryside.

It feels like you're stuck right now in the 4 walls of your bedroom. You have the same routine. The same sheltered life. The feeling that no one understands. The good news is you still have a pretty strong moral compass and sense of self worth. Don't worry, that won't change even when you grow up.

Right now, your only respite is the movies and television shows you watch. You're probably watching lots of romantic comedies. Yeah you still will in your twenties, thanks to the carefully categorized collection future me inherited from you. But now thanks to your male friends, yes you have a lot of them now, you also will be forced to endure a spate of anime series and action movies. Ah well, they're not too bad.

You'll have a lot more sitcom-esque experiences in college, and I do mean a lot more. So don't worry too much about not having too much fun as a teenager, because I promise you'll compensate more than enough for it as a teenager. Oh boy. A little much fun if you ask me, but it'll give you lots of writing material. Lots of experiences you envisioned as a teenager won't be quite as fairytale-like but you'll love them regardless, because they'll make for great stories and you'll encounter some pretty awesome people.

Oh, and you do your laundry now. And cook (sometimes, you usually just order in but hey it's the thought that counts!). You still don't like rollercoasters, but you did go zip lining and hiking and ice skating. You even got your white friends to do Diwali in kurtas!

I came across a ten-step plan you made for my life. The good news is you're ahead of schedule with a lot of your goals, well done! But stop planning so much! You tend to freak out when things don't go according to plan, and here's the thing kiddo. Lots of things won't go according to plan, and you'll be hurt for a while but then better things will come along. You'll lose people and opportunities, but gain some even better ones. Omaha certainly wasn't part of the plan but you'll love it. And don't worry, you'll get your big city experience in grad school, if all goes well so I'll keep you posted on that. Or you know, you could just grow up and see for yourself!

You'll still have a lot of existential crises from time to time, sorry about that, you'll have to blame our brain for that one. But you'll be more hopeful about stuff, so those moody days pass by a lot quicker. I wish I could meet you but I'd rather you live through it all and come meet me. Hang in there you angsty nerd.

I'll see you soon.



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